The comfy chair?

Mom: My daughter was playing and handing out pretend punishments - "I will make you sit in the uncomfortable chair!"

Gold Stars

Daughter: Mommy, I'm so proud of you for going on the potty. Here's your sticker!

Alphaburp

Dad: My son can burp words on command. I'm so proud! Don't tell Mommy!

Howling Good Time

Daughter: Mommy stop singing, you're hurting the doggy's ears!

No W's allowed

Mom: My daughter is so organized, she has to have all the M&M's facing up and separated by color before she eats them!

Zzz Thunk Zzz

Mom: My duaghter fell out of bed and continued sleeping on the floor!

Barf Zoo

My kids' summary of their zoo field trip: There was a kid who barfed so he got to ride in the wagon the whole time