As we are walking in a marshy park in the middle of the woods, admiring the beautiful nature scenes, my son says: "Dad, do you have a non-favorite type of cheese?"

Me: I am a gracious benefactor... Son: Did you know that gracious means good, and bene in benefactor comes from the latin word for "good"? Me: ..................... I love my kid's teachers.

After a week camping, our son was walking around wearing three hats and three sets of gloves to battle the AC.

My son just pulled his pants down and peed in the grass today after soccer practice.

Me: Son, why do you keep flushing the toilet? Son: I'm dumping my cereal down the drain.

Son: Dad. Dad. Dad dad dad dad. DAAADDD. Dad dad dad. Dad!!! Me: WHAT. Son: Um... I forget.

My son has spent the last few minutes yelling "Luuuuke I am your faaaaatherrrr" into the fan. So proud.

Life can be awesome, and just a piece of poop at the same time. (found in my son's school journal)

Kids are upstairs supposed to be going to bed, but they are running around, laughing, slamming doors and yelling. I yell up "WHAT IS GOING ON???? Son says "Well, we were getting our pjs on and then older sister did the Wuxi Finger Hold on little brother and sent him back to the spirit world."

Found a toothbrush stuck in the vacuum cleaner today.

I was trying to scare my sons while we were walking in the dark, so I said "You really have to watch out for alligators." My other son said "No, sharks are way scarier." and my youngest said "NO you really have to watch out for hammer head sharks because they will HAMMER you if you're not looking."

Today at bedtime prayers we siad thank you for basketball and sledding and hot cocoa and video games and legos and pizza. One son said it was about the best day ever. The other said thank you for his new band aid.

Waking up my son this morning and the first words out of his mouth are "Dad what do you multiply 2 by to get 117?"

I wonder how many more years I'll still be carrying sleeping kids upstairs.

My son declared himself the King, and was placed in charge of making sure everyone was cleaning. He loved the job and was pointing his scepter at kids like "You! Clean this over here!"

Not sure if my son is giving his brother a hug or putting him in a headlock.

Sitting on the toilet, my son decided he would lower his butt down to dip it in the water.

It's like they just wait until you're in the bathroom before starting absolute chaos

My son fell hands first into the toilet today.

My son's logic on Frozen: Kristoff should have just taken Anna to the really hot sauna that was right by Elsa's castle.