Skinny surfers

Mom: Watching "Soul Surfer" and my daughter says "Fat people can't surf" The things kids learn from the movies

Wendy Lady

Daughter: Mommy that Peter Pan is a silly boy
Mom: You're a silly girl
Daughter: You're a silly boy Mommy. (Insert immense giggles here), No, I'm just kidding Mommy, you a girl.

Princesses of Pop?

Daughter: the Disney princesses aren't real, but I saw a real princess on a magazine once! Mom: Do you remember her name? Daughter: Ummm I think it was Michael Jackson?

Oh Baby

Daddy: Why can't you stop wiggling?? Daughter: (shouting) I've just got that Justin Bieber song stuck in my head and I can't stop dancing!!!

Happy ARGH new year!

A parent's new year: Went to change the automatic cat litter boxes only to discover that it has eaten the plastic bag, so I had to take it apart the whole thing covered in filth.
One daughter woke up sick and barfing, and the other daughter peed her bed.
When I was doing laundry for the barf and pee soaked sheets, a wipey fell into the utility tub and clogged it. So when the washer emptied it flooded the laundry room. Barf water went pouring into the basement. AAGGGHH

Santa Threats

Kids asked "Can we please go clean our rooms?" - I love Christmas.

Who's on first?

Daughter: One, two, three stripes you're out!