(Pointing to a man in a turban)
Granddaughter: Gramma, why is that man dressed like a Genie?
Parent Madness Search
Pee Humor
Just took my boy to the movies for boys night out. He loved the part where Gulliver pees on everyone!
Oh Snap
Mom: I'm not happy that you didn't nap today.
Daughter: Well, I'm happy that I didn't have to sleep. Oy!
Daughter: Well, I'm happy that I didn't have to sleep. Oy!
Dancin machine
In the women's locker room after my three year old boy's swimming
class, he dropped his pants and started gyrating his pelvis saying
Mommy look at me!!
class, he dropped his pants and started gyrating his pelvis saying
Mommy look at me!!
Tree Terror
Daughter: Daddy you can't go to work in your underpants because you
might get hit by a tree!
might get hit by a tree!
You'll Go Down in History
Daughter: Gramma when were you born?
Gramma: 1942
Daughter: Isn't that when Columbus sailed the ocean blue?
Gramma: 1942
Daughter: Isn't that when Columbus sailed the ocean blue?
Cut it out
(at a pizza place)
Son: Daddy don't cut the cheese!
Mom: Your son is wise beyond his years!
Son: Daddy don't cut the cheese!
Mom: Your son is wise beyond his years!
Bow Wow Brains
Daughter: Mommy if our dog's brains fall out will he turn bad?
Mom: No honey, and his brains can't just fall out.
Daughter: What if we shaved off all of his fur?
Mom: No honey, and his brains can't just fall out.
Daughter: What if we shaved off all of his fur?
Resistance is futile
After delivering a nicely folded basket of laundry for my daughter to
put away, I turned back to see her picking them up and shaking them to
unfold them before stuffing them into her drawers!
put away, I turned back to see her picking them up and shaking them to
unfold them before stuffing them into her drawers!
Lights Out
My daughter is so determined to be the one to turn off her bedroom
light at night that if I turn it off first she will walk over, turn it
on again and off again!
light at night that if I turn it off first she will walk over, turn it
on again and off again!
No It's Not
I was changing my daughter's diaper, and didn't realize it had a turd in it, so when I pulled it off, the poop landed right on her stomach.
Daughter: I have chocolate in my butt??
Daughter: I have chocolate in my butt??
Proud Papa
Just taught my son how to write his name in pee in the dirt. Daycare will love that trick!
Green Dad
At the bus stop today my daughter and I picked up all the worms from the sidewalk and threw them into the grass. Thank you kids books about worms!
Wet Floor
While I was in the shower, my daughter shouted frantically for me to come quick, my daughter needed me! Always the superhero, I dashed wet and naked through the hall to help. She had forgotten the name of her dolly and wanted to ask me.
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