Pave the earth

Daughter: Mommy we live on earth, and the other kids live on the
cement!

Tree Terror

Daughter: Daddy you can't go to work in your underpants because you
might get hit by a tree!

Caveman Dad

Daughter: Daddy you can grow hair on your face, but you need to shave
your arms!

Tree Pop

Son: Daddy, if you drink and party you'll pop into a tree!

Multi Talented

Son: Daddy I have big pieces of poop and little pieces of poop!

You'll Go Down in History

Daughter: Gramma when were you born?
Gramma: 1942
Daughter: Isn't that when Columbus sailed the ocean blue?

Who let the stinks out

Son: I'm closing the bathroom door so no stinks get into our rooms!