Speedy Poo

Mom: Honey, are you done going potty?
Daughter: Yeah daddy, I'm a FAST pooper!

Circus Crash

After my clumsy little girl came home with a goose egg on her forehead I asked her how it happened.

Daughter: "I fell off the red chair"
Dad: "The red chair?"
Daughter: NO, the THREE red chairs!"

That explains a little!

Beware Falling Rocks

Dad: Why do you think grampa is bald?
Daughter: I think a rock fell on his head and knocked all his hair off!

Spelling Bawl

My 5 year old daughter threw a 10 minute tantrum this morning because I asked her to spell out the name on the Ty beanie baby tag. Pretty sure I lost on that battle!

Space Nap

In the car my daughter was yawning so we said something about her being tired and that's why she should have taken a nap. She goes, but mommy, someone took my rest. They took my rest and sent it to outerspace and I just don't know how to get it back!

Wave Bye Bye

Sitting on a bus that was part of a parade, I notice my son is crying.

Dad: What's wrong??
Son: I lawst mai glovee out da windoooow!!!"

I have the bus driver stop the bus and run back a quarter mile along the whole parade route only to come back and discover his "glovee" on the floor of the bus!

Ruff Arf Woof

At the dinner table every kid gets a turn to tell how our day was. Yesterday the dog came up and started barking and grumbling for a treat to tell us his day too!