TP tricks

(after wiping his butt and the tp got stuck and was hanging out)
Son: Daddy look I have a tail!

Man Boobs

Daughter: Daddy, a boy at school said that only girls have boobs, but
that's not right because YOU have boobs!

Umbarfrella

There's barf on my umbrella

Tryrannatops

My son's favorite dinosaur is the "tryrannatops"

Tri-shirt

Apparently I will have to inspect my son's outfits in the morning as he had on three shirts today. I informed him that the maximum number of acceptable shirts is two, unless he starts doing the laundry.

Hippie Shake

Daugther: Daddy when you snuggle with me I only have enough room to hippie
hippie shake!

Poop boxes

I wonder if in some faraway galaxy there are cat people who have to clean out human litter boxes