My son declared himself the King, and was placed in charge of making sure everyone was cleaning. He loved the job and was pointing his scepter at kids like "You! Clean this over here!"

Dad: You can't leave the house today. Daughter: Why? Dad: Because there are boys out there and you're just too pretty. Daughter: (eye roll) That's both nice and offensive!

Not sure if my son is giving his brother a hug or putting him in a headlock.

It's cool, gravy spilled all over the car increases the resale value.

The dog tried to eat steel wool this evening. Apparently it was time for dinner.

Sitting on the toilet, my son decided he would lower his butt down to dip it in the water.

It's like they just wait until you're in the bathroom before starting absolute chaos