Today as a reward for cleaning the toy room, the kids were allowed to do 100 pushups.

Dad to Mom: Don't let me forget I have broccoli in my pocket.

I really need to remember that when my kids report that someone says bad words (in this case the F word) at school, they have a different view of what that word actually is. Imagine my relief when I was told someone said the word "fart".

I was talking about dropping off some toys to donate, and my daughter said "You mean to Old Navy?" Salvation Army, close enough!

At dinner tonight my son had mashed potatoes on his ear.

There are pop tarts in my car's cupholder.

Sooo... now they have dolls with pets that poop rainbows, jewels and glitter??