Dancin machine

In the women's locker room after my three year old boy's swimming
class, he dropped his pants and started gyrating his pelvis saying
Mommy look at me!!

Pave the earth

Daughter: Mommy we live on earth, and the other kids live on the
cement!

Tree Terror

Daughter: Daddy you can't go to work in your underpants because you
might get hit by a tree!

Caveman Dad

Daughter: Daddy you can grow hair on your face, but you need to shave
your arms!

Tree Pop

Son: Daddy, if you drink and party you'll pop into a tree!

Multi Talented

Son: Daddy I have big pieces of poop and little pieces of poop!

You'll Go Down in History

Daughter: Gramma when were you born?
Gramma: 1942
Daughter: Isn't that when Columbus sailed the ocean blue?