Bow Wow Brains

Daughter: Mommy if our dog's brains fall out will he turn bad?
Mom: No honey, and his brains can't just fall out.
Daughter: What if we shaved off all of his fur?

Resistance is futile

After delivering a nicely folded basket of laundry for my daughter to
put away, I turned back to see her picking them up and shaking them to
unfold them before stuffing them into her drawers!

Shake it baby

Son: Daddy when I sit to go potty then I have to wipe and then
stand up and shake it!

Very Merry

Daughter: Daddy when we go to the mall can I ride a horsey on the Miracle
Round?

Lights Out

My daughter is so determined to be the one to turn off her bedroom
light at night that if I turn it off first she will walk over, turn it
on again and off again!

No It's Not

I was changing my daughter's diaper, and didn't realize it had a turd in it, so when I pulled it off, the poop landed right on her stomach.

Daughter: I have chocolate in my butt??

Proud Papa

Just taught my son how to write his name in pee in the dirt. Daycare will love that trick!