Screechy Birthday

Son: Daddy the lemurs are screeching because they know it's my
birthday!!

Oh Snap

Mom: I'm not happy that you didn't nap today.
Daughter: Well, I'm happy that I didn't have to sleep. Oy!

Cold Kids

This morning my daughter was complaining about being cold, so I went in to her room to see why and she was stripped naked sitting on the heat register.

Zany Zoo

Daughter: Daddy if you don't take me to zoo boo next year I'll never
look at you!

Heavy Doodie

Son: Daddy I need a wrench to help get my poops out!

Uncle Smelly

Daughter: My uncle tickles me and calls me stinky butt!

Dancin machine

In the women's locker room after my three year old boy's swimming
class, he dropped his pants and started gyrating his pelvis saying
Mommy look at me!!