Rainbow Mom

Mom: My daughter forgot her shoes at school, so Rainbow Dash delivered them and left a note!

Terrible ones

Mom: I think my son is trying to be an over achiever and start his terrible twos at one.

Dog food baby

Mom: So apparently we can throw away all the toys and just buy our baby a dog food bowl, since that's the ONLY thing he wants to play with!

Brains down the drain

Daughter: Daddy what does this "blond" shampoo do?
Dad: It makes your brains go down the drain.
Mom: I HEARD THAT!!!

Eyes Everywhere

Mom: My daughter gives me a hug and goes to touch the back of my head.
She gets a thoughtful look and very seriously asks why she can't see the eyes in the back of my head!

Ice Cream Cart

New shopping strategy, ice cream in the cart to prevent straying from my list and getting outta here! :)

Baby Doll Swimmer

Nothing like a manager at a water park dropping a baby doll into the lazy river to test the reflexes of the life guard.

Thankfully, ours passed, but my heart stopped!

Tinkerbell Star Wars

Mom: My daughter and her friends played Star Wars and she was Queen Amidala and her friend was Princess Leia. And they had wings!! And could fly!!!

Tinkerbell Star Wars anyone?? It can totally happen now!

Gamer Mom

Mom: I wanna play Skylanders. I wanna play Skylanders!
Kids: No mom. It's OUR game.
Mom: Bummer.

Tinkerbell Tear Jerker

Maybe one of these days the girls (and Mommy) will be able to make it through Tinkerbell and the secret of the wings without crying, but today is not that day!

Girl Power?

Kind of stinks when the kids watch a cartoon and want to pick which characters they are, and there aren't any girls. :(

Frozen Wifesicle

Husband of the year award.

Fell asleep in my son's bed after putting him down for the night,
while my wife went to get groceries out of the car.

She accidentally locked herself in the garage, and called and called on my phone but I snored on while she froze outside!

Epic Naptime

Mommy and Daddy both crashed on couches for naps, and big sister put herself and the other kids down for a nap without even asking!!

Epic naptime win!

Fish

Mom: What lives under the sea? Son: an Orca? (No simple "fish" answer for my son!)

Too young for that stamp

My eight year old daughter came home today with a fake tattoo that "some boy" put on her lower back!

No tagbacks

Son: Mom, I was playing tag with my friend, so I'm "IT" until recess on Monday.

Playland woes

Younger daughter: Does this McDonald's have a playland?
Older daughter: No, but it's better that way. For THEM anyways.

Chocolate milk

One time when I was using my breast pump, my daughter came up and asked if I could make chocolate milk!!!

Run Away!!!

At the doctor's, our boy/girl twins were stripped to underwear getting ready for their immunization shot in the butt.
The boy went first, and after he screamed in pain the girl pulled her pants up as fast as she could and backed into the corner of the room!

Mommy Pimples

Daughter: Mom you have pimples on your boobs!
Mom: ... You mean nipples??
Daughter: Yeah nipples! (hee hee) I have nipples too, but you have boobs and nipples!