Parent Madness Search
Big Nose
Dad: Sweetie you look a lot like Gramma. See, you have the same nose...
Daughter: Yeah, but Gramma's nose is BIG!
Daughter: Yeah, but Gramma's nose is BIG!
Helping Hands
Dad: I'm apparently so used to dining with kids that I scooped broccoli onto my sister's plate before realizing what I was doing!
Salad Sandwich
Son: Mommy, I didn't ask for salad!
Mom: That's not a salad, that's lettuce on your sandwich.
Mom: That's not a salad, that's lettuce on your sandwich.
Potty Acrobat
When my little girl sits on the toilet to pee she more or less does the splits. One time when she leaned over to get some TP, she lost her balanced and did a complete forward roll off the toilet onto the floor!
Supposably
Son to Mom: No mom, it's "cobbage" cheese, not cottage cheese, because Gramma lives in a cottage!
Circus Crash
After my clumsy little girl came home with a goose egg on her forehead I asked her how it happened.
Daughter: "I fell off the red chair"
Dad: "The red chair?"
Daughter: NO, the THREE red chairs!"
That explains a little!
Daughter: "I fell off the red chair"
Dad: "The red chair?"
Daughter: NO, the THREE red chairs!"
That explains a little!
Beware Falling Rocks
Dad: Why do you think grampa is bald?
Daughter: I think a rock fell on his head and knocked all his hair off!
Daughter: I think a rock fell on his head and knocked all his hair off!
Spelling Bawl
My 5 year old daughter threw a 10 minute tantrum this morning because I asked her to spell out the name on the Ty beanie baby tag. Pretty sure I lost on that battle!
Space Nap
In the car my daughter was yawning so we said something about her being tired and that's why she should have taken a nap. She goes, but mommy, someone took my rest. They took my rest and sent it to outerspace and I just don't know how to get it back!
Wave Bye Bye
Sitting on a bus that was part of a parade, I notice my son is crying.
Dad: What's wrong??
Son: I lawst mai glovee out da windoooow!!!"
I have the bus driver stop the bus and run back a quarter mile along the whole parade route only to come back and discover his "glovee" on the floor of the bus!
Dad: What's wrong??
Son: I lawst mai glovee out da windoooow!!!"
I have the bus driver stop the bus and run back a quarter mile along the whole parade route only to come back and discover his "glovee" on the floor of the bus!
Ruff Arf Woof
At the dinner table every kid gets a turn to tell how our day was. Yesterday the dog came up and started barking and grumbling for a treat to tell us his day too!
Smelly Birds
The penguin exhibit at our zoo is a little stinky. Entering the building my son grabbed his nose and yelled "Daddy, this place stinks like penguin poop!"
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