The dog tried to eat steel wool this evening. Apparently it was time for dinner.

Sitting on the toilet, my son decided he would lower his butt down to dip it in the water.

It's like they just wait until you're in the bathroom before starting absolute chaos

My son fell hands first into the toilet today.

There was a fork on the floor of the bathroom stall today.

My son's logic on Frozen: Kristoff should have just taken Anna to the really hot sauna that was right by Elsa's castle.

The things we say as parents. "Honey, you have some cheese dip on your shoulder."