After a week camping, our son was walking around wearing three hats and three sets of gloves to battle the AC.

My son declared himself the King, and was placed in charge of making sure everyone was cleaning. He loved the job and was pointing his scepter at kids like "You! Clean this over here!"

The things we say as parents. "Honey, you have some cheese dip on your shoulder."

My daughter says that one of her classmates looks British. Not sure what that means?

Dad to Mom: Don't let me forget I have broccoli in my pocket.

I was talking about dropping off some toys to donate, and my daughter said "You mean to Old Navy?" Salvation Army, close enough!

At dinner tonight my son had mashed potatoes on his ear.

There are pop tarts in my car's cupholder.

So since Friday is 7/4, should I expect to hear mortar shellings this weekend, next weekend or both?

I need a sign for my front door that says "Baby napping. Knock if you want to die."

The older kids are like the baby's PR managers. They set him up for this morning's spiderman pic, demanded I post it on facebook, and have been requesting updates on how many likes it received and from who.

Whasat?

Our little guy has been saying "whassat?" and pointing at everything.

My favorite is when he sees food on your plate that he wants, he goes "whassat? AAAAAHHHHHH" and even has his tongue hanging out.

CSI At Home

Someone left a sunscreen hand print on the wall.

Time to line up the usual suspects and see whose hand fits the crime

Shopaholic

Please fasten child securely in grocery cart so they can squirm around backwards and get stuck.

Nature boy

Kind of feel like running naked and yelling swear words in the house at 1 am since we have no kids here!

The barbie channels

Wow. On demand has an entire category for Barbie movies.

Raking water

Sometimes cleaning the house is like trying to push water uphill with a rake.

Drop and give me 20 minutes

First Saturday in months we can sleep in. If any of my children wakes me up early, I am sending them to military school.

Does God cover data plans?

Mom, can you send text messages to people that are in heaven?

Shoe drama

My teenage 8 year old was crying over losing her favorite pair of socks, and is now giddy over how much she loves her new dress shoes. Wow.