Fatty Daddy

Daddy you have to do pushups because you have a fat belly!

It Doesn't Beep

I touched my 3 year old son's nose and made a "beep!" sound. He responded by poking me in the crotch and saying "beep!"

Boys Rule

My daughter was wrestling and tickling her little brother, and he passed gas right in her face. Testosterone FTW!

Confused Mommy

My two little ones (boy and girl) were running around with no clothes on after bath time, the girl on the floor and the boy standing. The boy stands over the girl and says Good doggy! I'm going to pee on your head! What???

Two Poo

Mommy! I pooped one for Daddy AND one for you!

Zombie Kids

Dad: Do you know why we don't bite?
Daughter: Because we do not eat people.

Presenting Her Highness

My daughter knocked on the door and said "Open the door. The Queen is home!"