Waking up my son this morning and the first words out of his mouth are "Dad what do you multiply 2 by to get 117?"

I wonder how many more years I'll still be carrying sleeping kids upstairs.

My son declared himself the King, and was placed in charge of making sure everyone was cleaning. He loved the job and was pointing his scepter at kids like "You! Clean this over here!"

Dad: You can't leave the house today. Daughter: Why? Dad: Because there are boys out there and you're just too pretty. Daughter: (eye roll) That's both nice and offensive!

Not sure if my son is giving his brother a hug or putting him in a headlock.

It's cool, gravy spilled all over the car increases the resale value.

The dog tried to eat steel wool this evening. Apparently it was time for dinner.