Slanding

Dad: What's going on buddy? Son: Oh I was just sleeping standing. I was "slanding".

Burp alert

Baby was asleep on Mommy tonight. Right when I walked by he woke up and said *BURP* DADA!

Art master

My son brought an artwork masterpiece home from school. It was labeled "Colored poops" and was a bunch of ovals, all the colors of the rainbow!

Huddle trouble

The kids were up to something today. The oldest kept calling a "huddle" and they all got together and whispered and giggled.

Pasta sipper

My son used a piece of macaroni as a straw to drink ketchup from his plate. Another proud Dad moment.

Stinky sleeper

Wake up, stretch, roll over, fart. That's my son!

Dad's dictionary

Son: Dad, what does "union" mean? Me: It's actually a Spanish word that means if one of your children is not putting his laundry away, you can sell him to the alligators and he'll be raised as an alligator child.