Repeat after me

Mom: Come to the table sweetie, it's dinner time!
Daughter: (on play phone) Just a minute kiddo, ok?

Who's that pokemon?

Dad: Are you done going poop?
Son: No, I have one more poke-poop.
Dad: What?
Son: It's like a pokeball but it's a poop!

Chain of Command

Mom: When I tell my five year old not to do something, she whispers it into her two year old sister's ear and has her do it!

Wakey Barfey

Woke up at 1:30 in the morning being barfed on. No words, my son just walked into the room and barfed on me.

Clean Crayon

Went to clean my tablet screen with the special cloth, only to discover my daughter's name written on it in crayon!

Fair Warning

Daughter: Mom I'm gonna toot in your car!

TP tricks

(after wiping his butt and the tp got stuck and was hanging out)
Son: Daddy look I have a tail!