Caveman Dad

Daughter: Daddy you can grow hair on your face, but you need to shave
your arms!

Tree Pop

Son: Daddy, if you drink and party you'll pop into a tree!

Multi Talented

Son: Daddy I have big pieces of poop and little pieces of poop!

You'll Go Down in History

Daughter: Gramma when were you born?
Gramma: 1942
Daughter: Isn't that when Columbus sailed the ocean blue?

Who let the stinks out

Son: I'm closing the bathroom door so no stinks get into our rooms!

Cut it out

(at a pizza place)
Son: Daddy don't cut the cheese!
Mom: Your son is wise beyond his years!

Bow Wow Brains

Daughter: Mommy if our dog's brains fall out will he turn bad?
Mom: No honey, and his brains can't just fall out.
Daughter: What if we shaved off all of his fur?