Presenting Her Highness

My daughter knocked on the door and said "Open the door. The Queen is home!"

Almost?

At the grocery store, my son grabs the SI swimsuit edition and shows me and says, "Mom, you can almost see her boobs!" Too funny!

Hairy Old Man

Daughter: Daddy you have to shower because you're all hairy!

No Licking

My daughter had a friend over for a playdate. As the two girls were playing, her friend leaned over and licked my daughter in the armpit!

Surprise

Just love it when one of my kids goes potty during naptime and leaves
a deuce unflushed!

Stinker Pants

My daughter let one rip in the car this morning so bad I had to roll
the windows down!

Whats This

Dad to son: No, your underpants do NOT have pockets in the front!