Gluteus Maximus

Son: Daddy when I squeeze my butt cheeks together it sucks the poop in so it won't come out!

Private bites

Tried to convince the kids we should move to the forest and be nudists. (aka no more laundry) They said we can't or we'd get mosquito bites on our privates. They may have won that argument.

Future purse hoarder

Overheard spoiled little rich girl: OMG I don't know how you could STAND having the same backpack for a WHOLE YEAR!

Here comes the rain

Dad: My 8 year old daughter came to me sobbing today because she hates her hair because it has too many tangles. HELP WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BABY?!

Learning French

Never thought I'd be using "I see London, I see France" as a parenting tool!