Good Job Daddy

Son to Mom: My Daddy stands up to go potty and he pees in the water and doesn't make a mess!

Swim Shirts

Daughter: Daddy why do you have two shirts on?
Dad: So I can be warm at work.
Daughter: You can't go swimming with your clothes on! (I don't swim
at work??)

Pixar Power

Daughter to Dad: Don't make me superbark you!

Road Trip

Daughter: Can we use our cars to drive to heaven?

Yipes Stripes

Son to Dad: Daddy you look like a zebra with your stripey shirt!

Sleep Fight

Checking on my daughter at bedtime I found that she was wearing her toy boxing gloves in bed!

Old Mommy

Daughter to Mom: I want to be old like you Mommy so I can get married and have babies and take them to swimming class!

Home Repair

Daughter: It's hairy down there in the heating vent.
Gramma: How do you know?
Daughter: *rips the vent off the floor* See?!?

My Poo!

This morning my daughter had a tantrum at daycare because another kid flushed "her poop" down the toilet!

Toddler Streaker

My little daughter is so skinny that her pants were falling down as she ran to her classroom. Run three steps, pants fall down. Hoist pants back up, run three more, pants fall down again!

Extra Protein

Mom to Daughter: Why is there a hot dog in your milk???

Frozen Cowgirls

My daughter and her friend both had scarves on at the bus stop, so they spent the whole time pretending to be cowgirls having a shootout!

Sugar Daddy

Daughter to Father: I wish I had a cell phone so I could break it and then I could have a boyfriend to buy me a new one! (5 year old girl)