As we are walking in a marshy park in the middle of the woods, admiring the beautiful nature scenes, my son says: "Dad, do you have a non-favorite type of cheese?"

Me: I am a gracious benefactor... Son: Did you know that gracious means good, and bene in benefactor comes from the latin word for "good"? Me: ..................... I love my kid's teachers.

After a week camping, our son was walking around wearing three hats and three sets of gloves to battle the AC.

My son just pulled his pants down and peed in the grass today after soccer practice.

If a muffin has frosting, chocolate chips and pudding filling, it is still a muffin?

Me: Son, why do you keep flushing the toilet? Son: I'm dumping my cereal down the drain.

Son: Dad. Dad. Dad dad dad dad. DAAADDD. Dad dad dad. Dad!!! Me: WHAT. Son: Um... I forget.